


The Guilty Heart

by Pastaaddict



Series: Heartbeat [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Suicide Attempt, Under the name Pastaaddict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 04:00:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14560395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastaaddict/pseuds/Pastaaddict
Summary: Lovino, like everyone else, wants to meet his soulmate but doesn't feels he deserves to after what happened to Feliciano.  Which causes issues when Lovino's soulmate finally shows up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : I do not own Hetalia.

 

**_**The Guilty Heart** _ **

 

__This takes place a month before Love Is Blind..._ _

 

Lovino had not had the best night, working at the _Cielo Italiano_ restaurant to put himself through college, learning business and culinary courses with the goal of opening his own restaurant one day. He had been stuck with a diner who could not make up his mind what meal he wanted to order and when he did, he changed his mind. Finally, the diner made up his mind and Lovino quickly disappeared into the kitchen before the diner could decide that he wanted something else. He put the order up for the chefs to put together and then comprehensively cursed the customer out, the curl sticking out of his red-brown hair on the right, quivering with suppressed rage.

"Stupid, indecisive bastard!" he stormed. "Like I've got time to stand around while he decides what pig swill to shove down his throat. What's wrong with the bastard? Is he need going to need Mama to feed him as well?!" Lovino's cousin, Marcello who was in the kitchen picking up meals, chuckled.

"Showing your superior people skills again, Lovino?" he asked, jokingly.

"Screw you!"

"And I don't cook pig swill!" Lucius, the restaurant's main chef said at the work top, pointing at Lovino with his meat cleaver (he had been indulging in the cooking wine again) . "I cook good quality food and don't you forget that!"

"Might as well be pig swill for all the appreciation that bastard will give it!" Lovino declared. "Probably get more appreciation if you gave it to pigs! I don't think the stingy bastard will leave a tip either!"

"You need a holiday, Lovino," Marcello commented. "Or a soulmate!" Lovino pulled a face.

"A soulmate is the last thing I need!" he stated. "What I need is less customers being indecisive dick-heads."

Lovino dreaded finding his soulmate. He wanted to feel his heart beat but because of what had happened ten years ago, Lovino felt he did not deserve a soulmate.

 

 _"_ __Come on, fratello!" eleven year old Lovino shouted to his ten year old brother, Feliciano, as they ran toward the forest. "Let's climb the trees! I bet I can climb higher!"_ _

 

 _"_ __I bet you can't!" the excited younger brother exclaimed as they ran into the woods and began looking for the best climbing trees. Lovino found a good one and began scaling the branches, Feliciano close behind him in the next tree. Lovino gained good height in his tree with the branches being close together but, as Feliciano got higher in his tree, the branches became more widely spaced and he had to reach further to get hold of them. The next branch was a distance and he reached out his small hand to take hold of it and, as he managed to grab it, his foot slipped but his hand could not grip the branch properly and it slipped from his grip as he fell into open air with a scream._ _

 

 _"_ __FELI!"_ _

 

__Lovino watched in horror as his little brother hit the ground with a sickening thud and began to make his way down his tree, risking falling himself but he made it safely to the ground and ran to where Feli lay. Feliciano's unnaturally pale skin made his auburn hair with the left hand curl stand out against his forehead, as it did the blood seeping from the side of his head where it had hit an upraised tree root. Feliciano looked like he was dead and Lovino began to cry as he shook his brother gently, trying to get some reaction but Feli remained unnaturally still and Lovino did the only thing he could. He ran home for help!_ _

 

__Romulus wasted no time following his eldest grandson to reach Feliciano's side and reassured Lovino that his brother was still alive and made him wait while Romulus went to call an ambulance. Feliciano was swept into hospital where he stayed in a coma for three days. He had a few broken bones but had somehow avoided damaging his back but the doctors were concerned about the head injury as he was yet to wake and a CAT-scan showed damage around the optic nerve. After the three days, Feli finally woke but the true damage became clear as Feliciano began to cry as he realised that he could not see._ _

__Lovino cried himself to sleep that night! It was his fault! He had suggested climbing the trees and now the doctors said that the damage to the optic nerve was unrepairable. Feli would be blind for the rest of his life and Lovino knew it was because of him!_ _

Lovino rubbed his eyes as if trying to rub away the unpleasant memory that would always be a permanent resident in his brain, along with the other one that was always behind his eyes, the memory that made him not want to find his soulmate.

__Lovino had gone to the library to study but there had been some kind of water leak and the library was closed so Lovino trudged home, cursing under his breath at not getting his study period in and he opened the front door with a disgruntled bang. No one was home and he dumped his books on the dining room table and ran upstairs to the bathroom. Nature was calling and he wanted to answer it before he got down to studying with what books he had._ _

 

__When he opened the bathroom door, he found that he was not alone in the house. Feliciano was stood in the room, his face a mass of tears and, to Lovino's horror, he was holding a blade to his wrist._ _

__Lovino grabbed his both of his brother's arms and forced the blade away from the other wrist, his brother, struggling._ _

 

 _"_ __Feliciano, drop the knife!" he ordered. Feliciano gave a hard sob and slowly slackened his grip and the blade fell to the floor. Lovino wrapped his arms around his sobbing brother while he willed his breathing to slow down after the scare he had just had sent it to the speed of sound._ _

 

 _"_ __Why?" he demanded, angrily. He did not mean to sound like that but the sight of his brother attempting to take his own life had made him lose control of his emotions. "Why would you do something so stupid, fratello? What's so bad that you'd do this to yourself? To us? Do you know what this would do to Nonno? Why?" Lovino fished his phone out of his pocket and dialled his grandfather's number._ _

 

 _"_ __Lovino," Romulus answered the call. "This is not a good …."_ _

 

 _"_ __Get home, Nonno!" Lovino ordered. "Get home now! It might not be a good time there but it's a worse one here, come home now! It's Feliciano!"_ _

 

 _"_ __What about Felici ….?"_ _

 

 _"_ __Just come home, Nonno!" Lovino hung up and put his phone back in his pocket, turning his attention to his still sobbing brother and taking him out of the bathroom and down to the living room, lying him down on the couch, as he continued to cry. Lovino stood up and shove his hands into his hair and gripped it. He did not know what to do and he began crying himself as his helplessness to help his brother overwhelmed him. He knelt down and hugged Feliciano._ _

 

 _"_ __Why, Feli?" he asked, again. "Why do you want to leave us like this?" Feli gave a hard sob._ _

 

 _"_ __Why should I live?" he wailed. "I'll never feel my heart beat because I can't see my soulmate's eyes and I can't condemn my soulmate to a life with someone with no beating heart. I'll always be alone so it would be better if I just died!" Lovino picked Feli up and sat down, pulling his distraught brother into his lap and hugged him tight. This was because of him! Because of Feli's blindness, caused by him! Just when Lovino could not feel any lower, his actions were waiting with more consequences. He not only took away his brother's sight, he almost took away his life! Lovino tucked Feli's head under his chin and wept with him._ _

 

__Romulus dove into the house to find his youngest grandson in the arms of his eldest, weeping as if the world was ending and he knew that this was something serious._ _

 

 _"_ __Lovino, what's happened?" he demanded as Feli continued to sob. Lovino turned his tear-reddened eyes up to his grandfather._ _

 

 _"_ __Feli tried to kill himself," he said. Romulus did not react at first because what Lovino had said had not sunk in._ _

 

 _"_ __What?"_ _

 

 _"_ __I came home to find Feli trying to slash his wrist, Nonno," Lovino clarified. "He wanted to die because he thinks he's going to be alone for the rest of his life because his heart will never beat! He doesn't want to chain his soulmate to him because of that and thinks he'd be better off dead. Nonno, what do we do?"_ _

__There was only one thing that they could do and that was to take him to the hospital who recommended that Feliciano be put on Suicide Watch in a mental health centre which Lovino was not happy with. He wanted to stay with his brother because he did not trust them to treat his brother kindly as he had heard so many horror stories. Feliciano was a fragile soul and his blindness made him all the more vulnerable. He did not want his brother worse than when he went in._ _

 

__After three days, Feliciano was deemed low risk but he was given medication to calm his mood and he was referred to Doctor Elizaveta Héderváry Edelstein, a specialist in mental health issues in young people and she would counsel Feliciano for the next year. He was doing much better but his issues had not gone away which was why Lovino did not want to find his soulmate just yet. If he found his soulmate, it might upset Feli and Lovino did not want anything to set Feliciano's recovery back. Lovino felt that he had caused his brother enough pain._ _

 

Lucius put two meals on the collection shelf and Lovino picked them up, leaving the kitchen to take them to a table he had served earlier. He placed them on the table in front of the diners with an __Enjoy your meal!__ and then to another table who were ready to pay the bill. His mood was lightened a little when the man paying the bill also left a generous tip and, as the man left, Lovino gave him a genuine __Please do come again, Signore!__

Lovino cleaned the now empty table down and put on fresh cutlery and side plates, replacing the glasses and refreshing the water jug ready for the next customer before going back into the kitchen to collect Mr Indecisive's meal and deliver it to him.

"Enjoy your meal, Signore," he said, politely and moved away before the annoying time-waster could take up any more of his time. The door to the restaurant opened and a new customer walked in. Lovino could see a dark-haired man out of the corner of his eye and he groaned when he was shown to the table he had just cleared and set up which meant he had to serve the guy. He gave a disgruntled sigh, picked up his pad and a menu and went to the table.

"Buonasera, Signore," he greeted in his politest voice. "Welcome to Ceilo Italiano! I'm Lovino, your waiter for the evening. Can I get you a drink while you look at the menu?" Lovino handed the menu to the man and the man looked up to take it. Caramel eyes clashed with those the colour of a green forest.

__Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump!_ _

When Antonio Carriedo came into the restaurant to eat because he did not want to eat alone at home, he never thought he would meet the one person who would make sure that he was never alone again as attested by his beating heart. Lovino had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen and the rest of him was not bad either. His hair was dark brown with hints of red in it with a large stray curl that sprung out from the side of his head and complimented the olive skin that covered a slight but toned body. Yes, Fate had been very kind to him.

"I would like a glass of your finest wine," he said with a smile, his Spanish heritage clear in his voice. "And my soulmate to join me!"

Lovino stared at the man as he felt his no longer still heart pound against his rib-cage and his pad and pencil fell from his nerveless fingers. His soulmate had chocolate brown hair and tanned skin and was one hundred percent Spanish. His green eyes were cheeky and flirtatious as he requested that Lovino sit with him and, for a moment, Lovino revelled in finding his soulmate but then reality intruded.

 _Feliciano! Mio Dio!_ How would Feliciano react to this! He backed away, shaking his head.

"No!" he said in denial. "No! No! No! I can't do this!"

Then he turned and ran.

* * *

This was not how Antonio had imagined his soulmate reacting to him. His vision was his soulmate would be overjoyed to see him and fall into his arms, cheesy maybe but he had not expected his soulmate to turn and run at the sight of him. Finding your soulmate was supposed to be a happy time but the waiter, Lovino?, had looked like the world had just ended. Antonio had to find out what was wrong and followed his fleeing soulmate.

"Lovino?" Marcello called after his cousin as he ran passed him, followed by a man with green eyes and dark hair whom he stopped. "What just happened? What did you say to my cousin?"

"He's my soulmate," the man replied in his Spanish accent. Antonio watched as the confusion on the other Italian man's face cleared as if he understood something.

"Oh!" the man, who's name badge said 'Marcello', said. "This is going to be awkward."

"Why is he so upset about finding me?" Antonio asked, desperately to understand. Marcello scratched his head.

"It's complicated, Signore," he replied. "Let's find him first. He probably ran into the staffroom." And he indicated to Antonio to follow him.

* * *

Lovino sat in a chair in the staffroom, hugging himself and rocking back and forth. Why did he have to find his soulmate? He did not deserve one, not after what he did to his brother and what he drove him to! And he was scared to tell Feliciano about what had just happened. Lovino had been living on egg-shells ever since that dreadful night a year, terrified of anything that would send his brother over the edge again. And this could definitely qualify! There was a knock on the staff room door but Lovino ignored it as he did not want to talk to anyone right now but he was not going to get a choice as the door was pushed open and Marcello walked in.

Followed by the man who had started Lovino's heart beating! Lovino leapt out of his seat and backed away from them.

"Why did you bring him in here, idiota?" Lovino fumed.

"Lovino, you have to face it," Marcello replied. "You found your soulmate! The two of you are meant to be together and you can't let Feli stop you from living the life you were suppose to lead!" Antonio frowned. Who was Feli? Did Lovino have a lover? A twinge of jealously stabbed Antonio's newly beating heart.

"Feli's my fault!" Lovino stated. "And if he finds out that I've found my soulmate, he might ….." Lovino hid his face in his hands. "I couldn't live with myself if he succeeded this time," he wailed. "I can't do that to Feli!" Antonio came forward and pulled Lovino's hands down from his face and gazed into his caramel eyes.

"My name is Antonio Carriedo," he introduced himself. "And I understand that you don't want to hurt your boyfriend, Lovi, but he's not your soulmate so he must have known that this day was coming." Lovino went as red as a tomato.

"Feliciano isn't my boyfriend, idiota!" he stormed. "He's my fratello! That's it! I'm going back out to work and when I come back, I want this bastard gone!" He stormed out, banging the door on his way out. Antonio blushed at his mistake.

"I just put my foot in it, haven't I?" he asked Marcello.

"Right up to the knee," Marcello replied.

* * *

Lovino came back after a shift of biting his tongue as customers annoyed him more than usual as the new situation played on his mind. His mood was not improved as he walked into the staffroom to find Antonio still there waiting for him.

"I thought I told you to go," he fumed. Antonio just smiled at his seething soulmate.

"Lo siento," he replied. "Marcello explained about Feliciano. I'm sorry I misunderstood."

"Marcello had no business telling you anything about that, Bastard," Lovino swore. "That's family business!" Antonio smiled again.

"I'm your soulmate, Lovi," he said. "That makes me family now."

"Says who!" Lovino snapped. "And don't call me Lovi!" Antonio took a step toward Lovino.

"Lovino," he replied. "You've finished work now, can we go somewhere and talk and eat? I still haven't eaten and we have a lot to discuss." Lovino was torn between telling this guy to f**k off and wanting to accept his offer as Antonio looked back at him with a hopeful expression. Lovino sighed and he knew that his Spanish soulmate was right, they did need to talk, no matter how much Lovino wished otherwise. He took off his apron and grabbed his jacket.

"Fine," he huffed, putting his jacket on. "But you're paying, Bastard!"

* * *

They found a nice little café, down near the river where they ordered coffee and some sandwiches, not the meal that Antonio had been anticipating but he could get something else later if he became hungry. Right now, his priority was trying to talk his soulmate into accepting him into his life but the issue of his brother stood between them like the late, unlamented Berlin Wall.

"So you were both climbing trees when Feliciano fell?" Antonio asked. Lovino nodded. "Lovi, all children climb trees. I was forever up a tree at that age."

"It was my idea, you jerk," Lovino snapped. "If I hadn't suggested it, Feli wouldn't have fallen and lost his sight. He tried to kill himself because he won't be able to see his soulmate so if I were to go and tell him ….."

"Lovi," Antonio leant forward and took Lovino's hand. "You and Feliciano could just have easily been me. My friends, Francis and Gilbert and I were forever climbing trees, sometimes at their suggestion, sometimes at mine. It's just something that children do! Were you ever told not to climb trees?" Lovino thought and could not remember ever being forbidden to do that.

"No," he replied. Antonio smiled at him.

"So it was not a forbidden past time," he said. "You and Feli were not disobeying your parent or guardian and you said you didn't have to force Feli up the tree. This was nothing more than a bad accident, Lovi! You're not to blame!"

"It doesn't matter!" Lovino exclaimed. "I can't tell Feli about this! I was lucky the library flooded that night or I might have been coming home to a corpse, I was barely in time as it was. What if it pushes him over the edge and this time, there's no one there to stop him?" Antonio sighed.

"All right," he replied. He could see that Lovino was not going to budge on this issue. "But you are my soulmate, Lovino, that won't change and I want you in my life but, fine, we won't tell your brother but your grandfather has to know. But it can't go on forever, Lovi! Sooner or later, you'll have to tell your brother because I won't live in the shadows forever." Lovino stared into his coffee.

"But not right now," he stated. "I'll pick the moment, just not right now." Antonio was happy with that because, whether Lovino realised it or not, he had just agreed to being with him and Antonio was content with that for now.

"Fine," he replied.

* * *

Feliciano was at a therapy session when they told Lovino's grandfather and Romulus took it in stride but did not agree that keeping Feliciano in the dark was the best idea.

"You should tell your brother," he said. "It was going to happen sooner or later and Feliciano knows that. He won't be happy if you keep this from him and he finds out elsewhere."

"No," Lovino said adamantly. "I'm not risking it! You don't know what it was like, seeing Feli with a blade to his wrist. I'm not doing anything that might make him do that again so we're not telling him about this, comprendere?"

"Lovi..."

"We're not talking about this any more!" Lovino put his foot down. "I'm going to the bathroom. When I come back, we better be talking about something else, bastards." And he stormed out of the room. Romulus sighed.

"I knew he would be like this when he found you," he told Antonio. "As you know, Lovino was the one who found Feli and, on top of what happened when Feli was ten, it affected him badly. It will take some persuading to get him to tell Feli."

"Shouldn't we just tell Feliciano anyway?" Antonio suggested.

"Not unless you want Lovino to hate you and never speak to you again," Romulus replied. "I know my grandson and, if you go against his wishes on this, he'll never forgive you." Antonio sighed.

"So what do I do?" he asked.

"Just do what he wants you to for now," Romulus said. "And we'll talk him round. Be subtle because if he thinks he's being pressured, he'll dig his heels in so just slip subtle comments into the conversation every now and then."

"I'm not sure I can do subtle."

"Try!"

* * *

When Lovino returned, the subject of telling Feliciano had been dropped, just like he wanted and the conversation turned to finding out more about Antonio. He was two years older than Lovino and was heir to his late father's vineyard which gave the family a more than modest income and Antonio was learning the ropes to take over one day while his mother, a very capable lady, managed it in the meantime. Antonio learned that Lovino was working his way through college, learning culinary and business courses with the plan to, one day opening his own restaurant.

Lovino wanted Antonio gone before Feliciano came home and they stood at the door to say goodnight. Lovino just stood there with his hands in his pockets while Antonio rubbed the back of his head, wondering what to do next.

"How will you explain me to Feliciano?" he asked.

"Just some guy I met," Lovino replied, although Antonio was not happy about being described as 'some guy'. "A new friend I made. He doesn't need to know the details." Antonio sighed.

"I'll go along with this for now," he said. "But he needs to know some time, you can't protect him for ever."

"Just get lost before he comes home, bastard!" Lovino ordered. "I'll be at the restaurant tomorrow if you have to bug me again." Antonio smiled.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow, Lovi," he replied and, before Lovino could take exception to his nickname, he found himself wrapped in the Spaniard's arms with lips firmly pressed over his. Lovino struggled for a moment but gave in as Antonio was an expert kisser although Lovino did not know whether to be thrilled or upset about that as he wondered just how many people Antonio had kissed to get that good at it. The kiss broke and Lovino shoved Antonio away.

"What was that, you jerk?" he demanded, angrily going red and Antonio smiled.

"Don't you kiss on the first date?" he said and then laughed. “You look like a tomate!” Lovino turned on his heel and stormed back through his front door.

"Whatever, bastard!" he fumed and slammed the door shut. Antonio grinned and walked to his car. Life with Lovino would be very interesting indeed and he could not wait!

* * *

Antonio practically haunted the restaurant and, although Lovino griped and growled about his presence, he was happy that Antonio was not put off by his tsundere attitude like other people. The only other people would could tolerate him were family and the rare person who saw through his hostile exterior to the lonely boy inside. Everyone else avoided the angry young man and Lovino's friends were limited to family, the ones he worked with and now Antonio. Antonio took his evening meal in the restaurant every night when Lovino was working and Lovino sat with him during his break and talked.

"What do your family say about the fact that you've found me?" Lovino asked as Antonio ate.

"I haven't told them yet," he replied. "If they know, they'll be round here, wanting to meet you and Mama would go to visit your grandfather, as is the tradition in my family and she'll want to meet Feliciano too and, as you don't want him to know just yet …."

"Okay, okay!" Lovino replied, testily to hide the guilt he felt at forcing Antonio to hide this from his family. "I get the picture, Tomato Bastard." Antonio acquired the new nickname when Lovino noticed that a lot of the meals Antonio ordered contained tomatoes. Seems he loved the red vegetable …. fruit …..whatever!

"I don't like keeping this from my family," Antonio sighed. "They're waiting for the day I bring my soulmate home. I can imagine Mama now, creating a big fiesta and inviting everybody round. The last time a soulmate in our family was found, the fiesta lasted three days." Lovino pretended not to be interested but he marvelled at the fact that soulmates were such a big deal in Antonio's family. _What would they make of him?_ he wondered.

"I looked forward to the day I can introduce you to Mama," Antonio continued, hoping a little guilt trip might push Lovino in the right direction. Lovino could not help but wonder about his future mother-in-law.

"Do you think she'll like me?" he asked.

"Oh Lovi!" Antonio laughed, attempting to hug Lovino as he squirmed to get away from him. "She'll love you as much as I do." Lovino stopped squirming.

"You love me?" he asked. Antonio looked at him as if he had just asked the silliest question in the world and took his hand.

"Lovino, I would hate to have to spend my life with someone I didn't love," he replied and gave him a soft kiss. "Te amo, niño tonto! ¡Ahora y siempre! ( _I love you, silly boy! Now and forever!_ )" Lovino did not understand Spanish but he got the _Te amo_ part.

"Whatever, Tomato Bastard!" And Antonio laughed.

* * *

"Miss Elizaveta is going on maternity leave," Feliciano announced when he came home from his latest session with his therapist. Lovino snorted.

"That kind of thing happens when people get pregnant," he commented. "You should have realised that was coming." Feliciano sat down in his usual chair and sighed.

"Si, I did," he replied. "But I have to see a replacement. Someone called Ludwig Beilschmdit but I like Miss Elizaveta, I don't want to see another therapist."

"It's only for a few months, idiota," Lovino huffed. "It won't kill you. It'll be good for you to meet new people, right Nonno?"

"Si," Romulus agreed. He felt that Feliciano cut himself off too much. He had been a very sociable child, even after his accident but in his mid-teens, he became less willing to meet new people. He had still seemed happy enough to Romulus until the night that Lovino came home early and all Feli's insecurities came to light. "You should make more friends, piccolo, it's not good to keep to yourself all the time." Feliciano lapsed into silence, a sign he was thinking of something serious. Lovino hoped that this new therapist might make some headway with Feli, not that Miss Elizaveta was not good at her job but Feli seemed to need something more. One break-through, that's all Lovino asked for and then, maybe, he could introduce Antonio to Feliciano.

* * *

"You're going WHERE!" Lovino shrieked. "Why the Hell are you going to Canada?" Antonio had managed to get Lovino to take a walk with him through the local park to tell him the news. Antonio's French friend, Francis had found a good deal on a skiing holiday in Banff and booked it for himself, Antonio and their other German, although he insisted that he was Prussian, friend, Gilbert. Antonio would have refused but Francis had already paid the deposit.

"It's only for a couple of weeks, Lovi," Antonio insisted. "Francis booked this skiing holiday for us and he's already paid money for it. I'll be back before you know it." Lovino huffed. He did not want Antonio to go, even though he griped about his presence so much and he wondered if Antonio was getting fed up with him and his insistence to keep the soulmate thing secret from Feliciano and wanted to spend time away from him.

"Fine!" he snapped. "Do whatever you want, Bastard!" Antonio pulled Lovino into a hug and nuzzled his neck while Lovino squirmed in his hold.

"Awwh, don't be like that, Lovi," he cooed. "I'll be back in two weeks and I'll make it up to you, I promise." Lovi stopped squirming and blew out a breath.

"Better be good, Tomato Bastard!"

* * *

"What's wrong, Lovino?" Romulus asked as he laid out the table for breakfast. Lovino had been quiet for a few days, a sure sign that something was bothering him, otherwise he would just be his usual grouchy self, cursing everybody out. "And don't say nothing, I know when you're brooding!" Lovino huffed.

"Antonio's gone to Canada," he grumbled. "He's there for two weeks."

"Who's Antonio?" Feliciano asked as he came through the door and walked unerringly to his seat at the table. Romulus and Lovino glanced at each other, Romulus's look saying __Tell him!_ _ and Lovino's saying __No way!_ _

"Just someone I met," Lovino replied while Romulus rolled his eyes in disappointment. "And leaving just like everyone else."

"Lovino, he's just going for two weeks," Romulus replied, putting out breakfast. "Not forever! People do go away sometimes."

"Si, I suppose," Lovino mumbled.

"Eat up, Feliciano," Romulus ordered. "It's your first session with your new therapist today, isn't it?"

"Si," Feliciano replied. He did not sound very happy at the prospect.

"Stop worrying, Feliciano," his grandfather told him, ruffling his hair in affection. "I'm sure you'll get to like your new therapist as much as Miss Elizaveta, just give him a chance."

"Oki doki, Nonno."

* * *

"My new therapist said I should get in contact with some of my old friends from the blind school," Feliciano said as they sat down to dinner.

"This Doctor Beilschmidt could be right," Romulus replied. "You should get in touch with one of your mated friends from school. You can't live your life on what ifs, my boy and you can't live it alone!"

“I'm not alone, Nonno!" Feliciano said, using his fork like a expert, despite his blindness, wrapping pasta around it. "I have you and Lovi!" Romulus sighed.

"Feli, I always won't be here," Romulus replied. "And Lovi will have his own life to lead, eventually."

"Nonno's right, fratello," Lovino agreed. "Stop being an idiota and find your soulmate!" If Lovino could persuade Feliciano to find his soulmate, it could solve everything. Feliciano could see that all his fears were unfounded and he could be happy because, despite the bubbly façade Feli put on, Lovino knew he had to be lonely. Feliciano was not the type to be lonely, it would harm him in the long run and his soulmate would prevent that. Of course, if it worked out, Lovino would no longer have to hide his own soul mate. Everyone wins.

"I can look some of your old friends on Facebook or Twitter," Lovino said. He often helped Feliciano with his Facebook page and it was possible that some of Feli's old school friends had one too. "See how they're getting on now and if they're happy with their soul mates or not. Come on, we'll do it now!" He took Feliciano arm, lead him upstairs to their shared room and opened his laptop, signing in to Feliciano's account. Feli had friended people back in school and it was not long before Lovino found one of them. He heard a knock at the front door but ignored it, knowing his grandfather would answer it instead.

"Here's one," he said. "Alice Kirkland! She was one of your friends, wasn't she?"

"Si," Feliciano replied. "What does it say?"

"Well …."

"Feliciano!" Their grandfather's voice called up the stairs. Feliciano knew his way to the door and made his way there without colliding with anything and opened the door.

"Si, Nonno!"

"Can you come down for a moment?" Romulus called. Feliciano hesitated for a moment.

"Go on!" Lovino told him. "This will still be here. Go see what Nonno wants!" Feliciano left the room and Lovino turned back to the laptop to find more of Feli's old friends who had found their soul mates and hoped for some happy stories. He checked out their profiles and everything looked promising. He was looking for more when the door opened and Lovino turned toward him to see Feli standing with a distant look on his face and he had red-rimmed eyes like he had been crying.

"What's wrong with you, idiota?"

"Mr Ludwig," Feli sniffed. "He came and said he saw my eyes and his heart started beating!" Lovino stared at Feli. This was more than Lovino could have hoped for and this was a chance for both Feliciano and Lovino.

"You've found your soulmate!" he wanted to cheer. This was just what Feli needed and then he thought about something. "He's German, isn't he? Aren't they potato loving bastards?" Feli began crying again.

"I didn't want him to find me," he said, tearfully. "Now he's stuck with me, a blind man with a unbeating heart. I've trapped him!" Lovino could not stop the impatient breath from spitting out of his mouth. Feliciano would sabotage his chance at happiness if Lovino allowed him to.

"Don't be stupid!" he snapped. "I doubt he feels trapped, probably thankful he's found you! You really think that you being blind would make your soul mate reject you! Come here, idiota!" Feli walked over to the desk that the laptop sat on and Lovino pulled him into his seat.

"Here's one of your friends," he said. "You remember Alice Kirkland, don't you?"

"Si," Feliciano replied. "She was a good friend."

"Well, she and her soulmate got married," Lovino said, reading the information. "She's Alice Bonnefoy now and expecting her first child! She and her husband seem very happy!" Feliciano considered what he had heard.

"And there's Yao Wang!" Lovi continued. "He and his soulmate, Ivan Braginski have been together for four years and getting married this year. And there's another! And another! Everyone I've found up to now is happy with their soulmates. I haven't found everyone but I've found enough!" Feliciano was lost in thought and Lovino hoped he was getting through to him.

"Give your soulmate a chance!" Lovino ordered. "Even if he is a Potato Bastard!" Lovino prayed that Feliciano would listen to him.

 


	2. The Guilty Heart Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of this will be familiar from Love Is Blind as the stories interact.

 

** _**The Guilty Heart Pt 2** _ **

Feliciano took a week to make his decision and, to Lovino's relief, decided to give his soul mate a chance and it was decided that Feliciano would move in with Ludwig Beilschmidt. However, for some bizarre reason, Ludwig had made some suggestion about a trail period, after which, Feli could walked away if he felt that things were not working out. Lovino wondered what had possessed the Potato Bastard and, when Ludwig came to collect him, Lovino took a dislike to the blonde, blue-eyed German.

"You better take care of my fratello, Potato Bastard!" he said as he came down the stairs with Feli's suitcase. The truth was Lovino was a little worried about Feli. He knew that Ludwig was Feli's soulmate but he knew nothing about him and he could do anything to Feli and Lovino wanted nothing else to happen to his fratello. Ludwig gave a look as if analysing him.

"I promise, nothing will happen to him," Ludwig vowed and Lovino wanted to believe him. Felt he could but something held him back. He did not know what. And then, Romulus hugged his youngest grandson.

"I'm so happy for you, my boy!" he said. "You wouldn't have found your soulmate if you weren't meant to. Ludwig seems happy to have found you so don't throw this chance away!"

"I'll try not to, Nonno," Feliciano whispered back and his grandfather released him. Lovino grudgingly let Ludwig take the suitcases.

"Hurt him and I'll hunt you down, jerk!" Lovino warned and they all went out to Ludwig's car and while Ludwig put Feli's suitcase into the trunk, Romulus gave Feli a hug.

"Arrivederci, Feli!" Romulus said to his grandson. Lovino wanted Feli to know that if things got rough, he had family to help.

"If the bastard makes you miserable," he said. "Let me know and I'll come get you!" Romulus gave him a nudge in the ribs to tell him to be quiet. Romulus helped Feli into the car and shut the door as Ludwig got in the driver's side and he started the car and pulled away. Lovino gave one last retort in the form of his middle finger which he hoped the Potato Bastard saw in his rear-view mirror. When the car was out of sight, Romulus slapped Lovino up the back of his head.

"What's wrong with you?" he scolded. "Your brother found his soulmate, why aren't you happy for him?" Lovino knew his grandfather was asking a good question, why was he so against Ludwig? He was Feli's soul mate, the one who could make him happy and who was responsible for Feli now.

That was it! Feli was now under Ludwig's care where before it was always Lovino and now Lovino was side-lined.

Lovino was jealous

* * *

It was a college day for Lovino but he could not concentrate. It was his business course which was boring at the best of time but necessary if he wanted to open his own restaurant one day. He also nodded off a couple of times while the lecturer droned on. Finally, the class finished and Lovino could make his escape.

The house was quiet without Feliciano and Lovino had not heard from him. Of course, it had only been a day but Lovino was missing his little brother already, although he would rather cut his own heart out than admit it. That Potato Bastard had better be good to him.

Lovino sat under a tree in the campus grounds, shaded from the sun, killing some time until his next class, his culinary course, began. At least in that class, he would be doing something other than being lulled to sleep by a boring, hypnotic drone. As he was stretching, his phone went off and he pulled it out of his pocket, trying to ignore the excited skip of his heart when he saw it was Antonio.

"Hola, Lovi!" Antonio's cheerful voice came down the phone. "Miss me, mi pequeño tomate?" Lovino snorted.

"You wish, Tomato Bastard," he cursed. "Why the Hell are you calling me?"

"Why wouldn't I call my soulmate?" Antonio replied. "I've tried calling you every day, Lovi, you just haven't answered."

"Because you've called when I've either been in class or working, idiota," Lovi snapped. "And when I've called back, YOU haven't answered."

"Lo siento," Antonio apologised. "It seems we've just been missing each other. But we've had an eventful day. Gilbert got drunk, went mountain-climbing and had to be rescued. Turns out one of the rescuers is his soulmate."

"I feel sorry for the poor bastard," Lovino said. "Why didn't you and the other jerk stop the moron?"

"Weelll," Antonio replied. "We tried but we were kind of drunk too." Lovino gave a derisive laugh.

"Idiotas of a feather flock together." he quipped.

"You mean birds, Lovi."

"I know what I mean, Tomato Bastard!"

"Any way," Antonio replied. "Francis has gone into seduction mode and has his eyes on someone, although I'm not sure it's such a good idea. I'm pretty sure that the lady in question is a married soulmate and has a very large Russian brother. Maybe I should try and stop him."

"Let the perverted bastard suffer!" Lovino said, adamantly. "He deserved everything he gets, hitting on someone else's wife, might teach the flirt a lesson. Just get your ass back here."

"Awwh! You do miss me," Antonio cooed.

"I just want to get you away from your friends," Lovino snapped. "They're clearly idiotas. Get back here so I can keep you out of trouble."

"Okay, Lovi," Antonio replied with a laugh. "I'll be back in a week or so. Te amo!"

"Whatever, Tomato Bastard," Lovino replied. "Ciao!" Lovino ended the call and allowed himself a little secret smile at the happiness a call from his soulmate had given him.

* * *

The next night, Lovino was at work. It was usually his night off but Marcello had called in sick and Lovino wanted to get out of the house. Romulus was out and the place was lonely without Feliciano there so he decided he would work and make some extra money.

Lovino took a quick glance at the book to see if any of the tables he was overseeing had reservations and that was when he saw  _ L Beilschmidt : 8:00pm. Diners :2. _ Lovino grinned. The Potato Bastard must be taking his brother out to dinner and Lovino was going to have fun with him. He smirked as he put the special Braille menu he always made for Feli to one side, ready for when they arrived.

Eight o'clock rolled round and Ludwig appeared, right on time, with Feliciano on his arm. Even without sight, Feliciano always managed to look his best and he was resplendent in an Armani suit and Romano had to be honest, Ludwig did not look bad either. The Maitri'D showed them to their table and now it was time for Lovino to have a little fun.

"Well, if it isn't the Potato Bastard," Lovino smirked as he came to the table with the menus which he gave to them, making sure that Feli got the one in Braille. "I thought I saw your name among the reservations. Good luck, jerk! I'm your waiter for this evening!" Feli might have given a loud cry of joy but Lovino still heard the groan Ludwig gave and he smirked.

"Lovi!" Feli gushed. "You're working tonight!"

"Yeah!" Lovino replied. "Marcello called in sick! How are you doing, idiota?"

"I'm fine!" Feliciano replied. "Ludwig brought me out to eat tonight!"

"Least he could do!" Lovino huffed. "I know what Fratello drinks, Potato Bastard, what do you drink?" Ludwig looked like he would rather have a beer but Lovino had a hunch that the Potato Bastard would want to look more refined on, what looked like, his and Feli's first date.

"Whatever Feliciano is drinking will be fine," he replied. Lovino smirked again and __I knew it!__ ran through his head as he went to get two glasses of  Pinot Grigio. He watched the pair while the bar steward filled the order and thought that Feli looked happy enough but who really knew. He took the wine back to the table where Feli and Ludwig were ready to order.

"I'll have Bucatini all'Amatriciana, Lovi," Feliciano said and handed his menu back to Lovino while Ludwig took a moment longer.

"And what are you ordering, Potato Bastard?" Lovino groused, hoping the Potato Bastard was not going to be another indecisive time waster. Ludwig requested Spaghetti Bolognese and Lovino rolled his eyes at the safe choice, grabbed his menu from his hand and went to give the order to the kitchen.

"Hey, Lucius," he called out. "Bucatini all'Amatriciana for my fratello and Spaghetti Bolognese for the Potato Bastard!" Lucius looked up from the pot he was stirring.

"Potato Bastard?" he asked.

"My fratello's soulmate," Lovino replied. "He's German!" Lucius gave an ahh sound and went back to stirring the pot while Lovino went back out to see to his other tables, all the while, keeping an eye on his brother and his soulmate. That was why he did not notice someone come up behind him until …..

"Hola, mi pequeño tomate!" Lovino spun round to find Antonio stood behind him with a big, soppy, happy smile on his face.

"What are you doing here, you jerk?" Lovino fumed. "I thought you were in Canada with your idiota friends!" Antonio gave Lovino a bigger smile.

"Gil found his soul mate," he replied. "So he cut his holiday short. Francis found someone to try and seduce so I came home to be with you." Antonio tried to kiss Lovino but Lovino shoved him away with a hand to the face.

"I'm at work!" he huffed. "And Feli's here with his soulmate!"

"And I want to spend time with mine," Antonio pouted. "We should be together now. When are you going to tell Feli about me? If he's found his soulmate now, he shouldn't react too badly!"

"They might not stay together," Lovino groused. "Stupid Potato Bastard is letting Feli have a trial period because of his stupid hang-up about his heart. Feli could still walk away from it!" Antonio looked surprised.

"I wouldn't let you get away from me so easily," he promised. "The moment my heart started beating, you were mine!" Lovino snorted.

"I'm beginning to think my fratello is the lucky one!" he commented. "I'm going to see if their meals are ready. Try not to make the place look untidy!" Antonio gave a pout as Lovino went into the kitchen, hiding the smile on his face. Antonio had come back! None of Lovino's name calling or hostile attitude had Antonio running away and Lovino wondered if Fate really did know more than mere mortals. Now, if only Feli could get his happily ever after.

* * *

Lovino delivered Ludwig and Feliciano's meals and left them to it but watched them from a distance as they chatted. Feli looked comfortable with Ludwig and even contented so maybe this will work out. Lovino really wanted his brother to be happy. They finished their meals and Lovino went take their dessert order, Feli always like dessert afterwards.

"What do you want, Potato Bastard?" he groused. "We don't do strudel!" Lovino would not normally be so outspokenly rude to the diners, despite what he might call them in his head but if Ludwig complained and got Lovino into trouble, that would upset Feli and Lovino would milk that for all it was worth.

"I'll just have some chocolate gelato, fratello," Feli chirped and while Ludwig was still choosing, Lovino wrote that down.

"I'll have the Tiramisu," Ludwig said and Lovino wrote that down too, put the pad in his apron pocket, put the menus under his arm, picked up the empty plates and went into the kitchen.

"Chocolate gelato and a piece of Tiramisu!" he called.

"Keep your curl on!" the dessert chef called back and Lovino flipped him off as he went back into the restaurant, only to be cornered by Antonio.

"Lovi," he said. "I want us to tell Feliciano. I'm tired of staying in the shadows, I want to be with you and get to know my new  familia ( _ family _ )." Lovino just shook his head.

"The time's not right," he replied. "He's still not ready to hear it." Neither one heard the rest room door open.

"Come on, Lovi!" Antonio begged. "We should tell him, then we don't have to hide it any more."

"For the last time, no!" Lovino replied, resolutely. "Not until things are more settled with the Potato Bastard!"

"Feliciano has to know!" Antonio, adamantly. "And, you never know, it might encourage him to make a decision. I just want us to be together, Lovi!"

"I'm not accepting that bastard until I'm sure Feli's safe with him," Lovino said. "I'm sorry, 'Toni but I want my fratellino  _ (little brother)  _ safe and settle before I can think about us."

"I know!" Antonio replied in resignation but a little happy that, for the first time, Lovi had called him by, at least, a variation of his name and not Tomato Bastard. "I just want my soulmate by my side, where you belong!" They walked away, not realising that Feliciano had heard every word.

"Just sit by the bar and don't cause trouble, idiota," Lovino ordered and got Antonio a drink and then he went back to the kitchen to collect Feli and Ludwig's desserts. They were just being put on the collection shelf and Lovino scooped them up and took them into the restaurant. As he walked up to his fratello and the Potato Bastard's table, he immediately knew something was wrong. Ludwig was leaning toward Feliciano who's face was pale and tear stained. What was the Potato Bastard saying to his fratello to upset him like that. He walked up to the table, slamming the dishes on to it and turned on Ludwig.

"What have you done to my fratello, you bastard?" he swore but Lovino was not prepared for Feli's reaction.

"What did HE do! WHAT DID  _ HE _ DO!" Lovino had heard his brother shout with joy, wail in tears and cried out in surprise but one thing he had never heard was Feli shout at him in anger. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU'D FOUND YOUR SOULMATE?" Everyone turned to stare at the man yelling at the waiter who bore a striking resemblance to him. Lovino went pale. Feliciano knew! How had he found out? Ludwig pulled a now crying Feliciano into his arms, trying to comfort him.

"I think we should take this somewhere else, liebling," he said and Lovino looked round to see all the other diners staring at them and he lead them to the restaurant staffroom, wondering how he could make this right and still wondering how Feli had found out. It had to have been earlier when he and Antonio talking and Feli had somehow overheard him. Ludwig took Feli to sit down on the couch in the staffroom and Feli began sobbing on Ludwig's shoulder. Lovino could not believe what he had done. He had just wanted to spare his fratello pain but he had failed him. Again!

Antonio had heard the commotion and quickly came to the conclusion that Feliciano had found out about him but it sounded like it had happened in the worse possible way and he followed them, waiting at the staffroom door.

"Fratello!" Lovino plead. "I'm sorry! I was afraid to tell you about Antonio! I was afraid it would upset you and …. and ….." Lovino could not finished the sentence but Feli knew what he was talking about.

"I wouldn't try to kill myself again," he wept but Lovino fell to his knees beside Feli and put his hands on like someone begging for forgiveness.

"I was too scared to take that risk!" Lovino began crying now. "Do you know what it was like when I came home to find you with a knife to your wrist, Feli! I was so scared if I told you, you might do it again and this time, I wouldn't be there to save you!" He put his head down on Feli's knee and wept.

"I don't want to lose you, fratello!" he whispered. Then he felt Feli's hands on top of his head.

"I'm sorry, fratello," Feli whispered and Lovino got up and hugged his little brother. "I didn't realise what finding me like that did to you. I know you've always blamed yourself for my blindness, I should have realised that you might blame yourself for my suicide attempt as well. I'm sorry, fratello!"

"Your blindness IS my fault!" Lovino blamed himself. "It was my idea to climb the trees you fell from!"

"I could have said no," Feli replied. "I wanted to climb them as much as you. You have to stop blaming yourself for that, Lovi! I'm fine now so stop!" Lovino stood up and wiped his eyes.

"I really am sorry that I didn't tell you about Antonio," he insisted. Feliciano looked toward the door.

"Will you introduce me to your soulmate?" Lovino turned to see Antonio in the doorway who looked surprised that Feliciano was aware of his presence.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked. Feli smiled, softly.

"I heard you and Lovi talking earlier and smelt your cologne," he replied. So Lovino had been right! "I can smell it now! Ciao, I'm Feliciano Vargas!" Feli held out his hand for Antonio to shake.

"Hola!" he said. "I'm Antonio Carriedo! I've wanted you to know about me for a long time and it's nice to finally meet you!" He turned to Ludwig.

"Hola!" Ludwig took his hand and shook it.

"Guten tag!" Ludwig replied. "I'm Ludwig Beilschmidt, Feliciano's soulmate! Pleased to meet you!"

"Oh, you're Gilbert's brother!" Antonio exclaimed. "I was in Canada with him recently! You know he found his soul mate?"

"Ja," Ludwig replied. "and how they found each other while Gilbert was stuck, drunk, half-way up a mountain!" There was a giggle from Feliciano which Lovino was happy to hear and Antonio blushed with embarrassment.

"Si!" he said. "Me, Gilbert and Francis were all drunk. We tried to stop him but you know Gilbert!"

"Ja!" Ludwig answered. "Unfortunately, I do! Both Gilbert and Matthew are at home, right now! Matthew seems like a good person, maybe he can reign Gil in a little!"

"Perhaps!" Antonio agreed.

"I think, perhaps, I should take Feliciano home," Ludwig said as Feliciano began to lean against his arm, looking weary. "This has been trying for him so I'll just pay the bill and take him home to rest." Lovino looked like he was going to argue but took one look at Feliciano's tired face and just nodded. He went to get Ludwig's bill which Ludwig paid and Lovino and Antonio followed them out to the car.

"I'll come by tomorrow. Feli," Lovino promised.

"Si," Feli replied, tiredly. "And we'll have a proper talk. We need to." Lovino sighed.

"Si," he agreed. "We do. Buenonoite, fratello."

"Buenonoite, Lovi," Feli slurred and Lovino knew that Feliciano would be asleep before he reached the Potato Bastard's house. He and Antonio watched as the car pulled away.

"I hope he'll be all right," Lovino muttered. Antonio put his arm around Lovino's shoulders.

"He'll be just fine with Ludwig," he replied.

"You don't even know the bastard," Lovino huffed.

"No," he replied. "But he's Gilbert's brother so …."

"Your friend's a idiot!"

"Si," Antonio agreed. "But he's a good idiot. Don't worry, Lovi. Feliciano will be just fine."

* * *

After work, Lovino and Antonio walked back to Lovino's house with Antonio's arm around Lovino's waist which he did not try to remove. Antonio took this to mean that Lovino wanted the comfort because he was still worried about his brother.

"Everything will be fine, Lovi," he reassured. "You and your brother will talk tomorrow and clear the air and it'll be better than before, you'll see."

"He was so upset that I didn't tell him about you," Lovino muttered. "I've never seen him angry at me like that before."

"It was just shock," Antonio replied. "That's why I kept telling you to tell him yourself."

"You just didn't wanted to hide it any more," Lovino huffed.

"Si, true!" Antonio replied. "But I knew it would be better if Feli heard it from you. I guess I can tell Mama now."

"Hold your tomatoes, Tomato Bastard!" Lovino snapped. "Let me talk to Feli first, nothing's settled yet until I see him."

"Okay," Antonio conceded and then he took Lovino's chin in his hand and put his lips firmly over Lovino's. "Then we go see Mama together! And don't worry, Lovi! Mama will love you." And he kissed him again.

* * *

Next day, Lovino stood outside the Potato Bastard's house, eyeing the door with apprehension. Behind the door was his brother and they had issues to resolve so ringing the door bell was a must and, after a few minutes, the door opened and Ludwig stood in the doorway.

"Hey, Potato Bastard," Lovino gave his usual charming greeting. "I came to see my fratello, is he about?"

"Ja," Ludwig replied, letting Lovino come in. "He's in the kitchen, finishing breakfast." Lovino walked past Ludwig and into the kitchen.

"Hey, fratello," he said as he walked into the room. Feliciano greeted him enthusiastically. A little too enthusiastically and Lovino could pick up on some tension in the room and wondered what was going on.

"Ciao, Lovino," Feli chirped. "Lovino, this is Ludwig's fratello, Gilbert!" Gilbert smirked and gave a little wave while Lovino muttered something about more Potato Bastards. "And this is his soulmate, Matthew Williams from Canada!" Matthew smiled, chewing a piece of pancake and Lovino's mouth got the better of him.

"Canada?" Lovino said. "Aren't you all maple bastards there?" Matthew choked.

"Let's go somewhere to talk, Lovi," Feli said before Lovino killed someone. "Ludwig, can we use the sitting room?"

"Ja," Ludwig replied, glaring Gilbert. "I'll see to it that you're NOT disturbed!" Once again, there was a hint that something had happened before Lovino had arrived.

"This way, fratello!" Feli unerringly lead Lovino to the sitting room.

"What was going on in there?" Lovino asked after the door shut behind them and they both sat down on the couch.

"What do you mean?"

"You couldn't get out of the room fast enough," Lovino replied. "So what's happen?" Feli blushed.

"Something happened this morning and everyone's very embarrassed about it," he admitted.

"What did the Potato Bastard do?" Lovino growled, ready to go and confront the German for whatever he had done wrong.

"Nothing!" Feli exclaimed. "You always think he's done something to me!"

"I'm just worried about you, fratello!" Lovino replied. "I don't know what this man is like! He could be violent and cruel for all I know and, with your blindness, you'd be helpless against him if he struck out at you!"

"Well, you don't have to worry any more, Lovi." Feli told him. "Ludwig's never been anything but nice to me, fratello. He's a good person, believe me!"

"If you say so!" Lovino muttered.

"I do say so!" Feli replied. "When I said I had no choice but to be his soul mate, he gave me a choice when he could have just agreed and made me be his soul mate when I wasn't ready. He's given me time to accept all this. I could have walked away and left him and he knew that but he took that risk, just so I could be happy in my eventual choice! Who but a good person would do all that?"

"What do you mean 'you could have walked away'?" Lovino asked.

"I'm staying with Luddy!" Feli announced. "No more trial period, no more running away from Fate! Luddy's my soul mate, the one I'm destined to spend my life with and that's what I'm going to do! I'm finally moving on with my life and that's what you need to do too!"

"Eh!" Lovino was confused. "I've accepted my soulmate!"

"But held yourself back because of me!" Feli declared. "You still blame yourself because of the accident that made me go blind! Maybe you did suggest we climb those trees but I didn't say no, I didn't even try to say no. The decision was mine! And I was the one who believed I had no future with a soul mate and became depressed and suicidal. That was me, not you but you took on responsibility for that too so you hid an important part of your life from me because you were afraid it would make me suicidal again. It was stupid. All those other people I went to the Blind School with have got on with their lives while I stood still and you ended up standing still with me. Well, not any more!" Feli grabbed his fratello's hands.

"Go to Antonio!" he ordered. "Go make a life with your soul mate and I'll make a life with mine. If you feel you have to make anything up to me, then do it by living your own life and being happy!" Lovino was surprised at his brother being so out going and optimistic about his future. Maybe Fate had found the right soulmate for his fratello after all.

"I wish you every happiness, fratello," Lovino said and kissed his brother on the forehead. "Although I'll still hunt the Potato Bastard down if he hurts you!" Feli chuckled.

"Go on!" he said. "I'm sure Antonio's waiting for you!" Lovino pulled his hands from Feli's grip.

"I see you later, fratello," he promised. "Arrivederci!" He got up and left to meet Antonio with the feeling that everything was going to be just fine.

* * *

Antonio was waiting at the end of the street, leaning against the wall but stood up straight when he saw Lovino coming toward him.

"Well," he asked. "How did it go, Lovi?" Lovino grabbed Antonio and kissed him hard.

"Never mind that, Tomato Bastard!" he replied. "Let's go! We have something to tell your Mama!"

* * *

Isabella Carriedo certainly knew how to throw a party and it involved the entire neighbourhood as well as the entire Carriedo family. Ludwig and Feli also attended but Gilbert and Matthew had returned to Canada. Feliciano gave Lovino a massive surprise when he took Lovino's hand and put it on his chest so Lovino could feel Feliciano's beating heart. All Feli could say was  _ I saw Luddy's soul! _ Lovino did not understand but he was not about to question it. All that time believing that Feli would never have a heartbeat and it happened any way. Fate was a funny bitch.

 

Music played for four days solid and no one complained because everyone was at the party. Lovino was just absorbed into the Carriedo family to the point that he was overwhelmed and almost wanted to escape. Romulus, however, revelled in the festivities and got along  _ very well _ with Antonio's mother. Both were widowed soul mates so it was all good.

"When are you to going to set the date?" Isabella, a woman who resembled her son, asked. "I can't wait to help you organise the wedding, Lovi." And she kissed her future son-in-law on the cheek. Lovino became red and flustered.

"Awwh!" she cooed. "You look just like a little tomate!" __Mio Dio!__ Lovino thought. __Like mother, like son!__

"We're going to talk about that, Mama," Antonio decided to rescue his soulmate. He knew what his mother was like when she began talking weddings. "If you'll excuse us..." And he pulled Lovino away.

"Don't come back until you name the day!" Isabella called after them. Antonio and Lovino ran a gauntlet of hugs, congratulations and kisses from Antonio's family and, by some miracle, managed to find a private spot.

"Wedding!" Lovino exclaimed. "Is your mother nuts? We've only announced we're soulmates!"

"For Mama, that's enough," Antonio replied. "If you're soulmates, it's a done deal." He wrapped his arms around Lovino. "So what do you say, Lovi? What date's good for you?"

"What kind of proposal is that, Tomato Bastard?" Lovino snapped. "You haven't even asked me yet!"

"Lo siento," Antonio apologised, let Lovino go and got down on one knee. He took a ring box out of his pocket and opened it. Nestling within was a gold band with a single but large diamond. "Lovino Romano Vargas, my soulmate, will you do me the honour of becoming my husband?" Lovino stared at the ring and then at Antonio.

"You had this planned, didn't you, jerk!" he fumed. "Did you put your mother up to that performance?" Antonio just smiled.

"No," he replied. "That was pure Mama but I knew I could rely on her. So what do you say, Lovi? Will you make me the happiest man in the world?"

"I'm not sure if I should," Lovino replied with a snort. "You're too damn happy as it is!" Antonio's smile dropped. Lovino could not do it any more and started laughing.

"Get up, idiota!" he chortled. "Of course, I'll marry you!" Antonio's face burst into a big grin and he stood up, wrapped his arms around Lovino and swung him round as Lovino screamed in laughing fright.

"Put me down, Tomato Bastard," he squealed. "Or I'm going to puke all over you!" It was a empty threat but Antonio put him down, just long enough to pull Lovino tightly into a passionate kiss. Lovino did not fight him and put his arms around Antonio's neck. Lost in their own little world, neither of them saw Isabella, who had followed them and had seen everything. She decided to leave the love-birds, as Antonio pushed the ring on to Lovino's finger, now that everything was settled and she walked away, planning a lavish wedding in her head.

Only the best for her baby and his soulmate!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next story is a single chapter and it's Gilbert and Matthew's story called Love On A Mountaintop.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a Spanish speaker so if the Spanish is wrong, I apologise (Google Translate) Marcello is Seborga and Lucius is 2p! Roman Empire.


End file.
